Confessions of Part Time Sissy
Ramblings, Musings, and of course Confessions of a part time sissy slut
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My Private Post Box
Posted:Jul 12, 2018 5:23 am
Last Updated:Oct 2, 2018 10:43 pm
Because the messaging here is pretty bad,
ANYONE can contact me via this post.

Doesn't matter if you are new or old, free or gold. Just leave a comment, and it will remain private between you and I. My responses will also be private. VoilĂ . Private chat for all.

* please be aware that it can take minutes to hours for comments to show up, so it isn't live chat. More like email, because I will still get it offline.

Thanks so much to Lala for the info: Build your own Private Postbox Receive Readable Messages and Reply
1 comment , 3 Pending
My Public Profile (Not just for Goldmembers)
Posted:Jul 12, 2018 6:19 am
Last Updated:Aug 14, 2018 9:46 pm
Just in case you'd like to get to know me. (Or even if you are just trying to figure out how to fuck me)

I'm essentially like a prison bitch without the prison.
OK. There is a certain segment of the population that won't get that.
These people are called Men. Men can't take subtle hints.
I Like to be Fucked. Yes. YOU can fuck me. NO. I don't want a cuddly boyfriend.
But... I am not always available. (Work, family, too lazy today, etc.)

Corrupted, trained, and taught by a glorious black Mistress to serve black men's cocks. I will serve cocks (or strapons) of any color, but Mistress made sure I have a soft place in my [heart] for BBC.

By day I am a straight acting, masculine man, but let's be honest. I am a submissive, bottom, cock slut. In my perfect world, men on the street would just stop me, pull my pants down, bend me over, and fuck me without so much as a "by your leave". I love big cocks, but stamina beats size for me every time. Kinks: I have a thing for bondage and forced fem. Group sex - especially anonymous - Even better if I'm tied, and you just let other men in the room to fuck me. Like being watched and verbally degraded by men and women. Like being pegged by women. Enjoy eating a women while she is being fucked.

I love to be fucked for hours. Love everything about having my ass used, fingered, fucked, licked, tounged, toyed, plugged, and filled with cum. I am married, closeted, and all bottom. I don't top. I'm not versatile. I serve daddy's cock. I get fucked. I get treated like a cum slut. This is simply the way of things. Dress me in women's clothes and treat me like a whore, and you own this ass. I don't need an abusive dom. I don't need to be spanked (much). Don't need pain and abuse. Just need a confident top (male or female) that will use me for their sexual pleasure. All strictly NSA.

My Ideal Person
Since I am submissive, I like confident men or women that know how to take charge of a sub. Of course a big cock is nice, but it isn't everything. Frankly, you can buy one of any size, and I love having them used on me. As an added bonus, I might be able to fit your real cock all the way in my mouth.

I'm really into forced fem, but that does not mean that I am a CD. My particular kink is that I like YOU to dress me. You can also do my makeup, hair, whatever. You take outwardly masculine me, turn me into a sissy slut(verbal abuse optional), and then you get to fuck me. Simple, right? (OK. It's a preference. I will just bend over naked, and let you have your way.)

Moved away from my Domme Mistress, so it would be awesome to serve another. She taught me that I am a sissy slut, and that I was meant to serve cock. She made me admit that I am a pussy, and that I am only truly happy when being bred by real men. She dressed me pretty, and let her friends use me so I didn't have to think. Of course, she was also great with a strap on.
Mistress actually didn't let me do anything. She undressed, washed (inside and out), dried, dressed, did make up and hair, ... and posituoned me as desired for sex. That is my ideal situation.

The Stats - for those who care

Sexual Orientation: Bi-sexual
Looking For: Men, Couples (man/woman), Couples (2 men), TS/TV/TG
Birthdate: February 1, 1967
Relocate?: No
Travel Location: Richland, WA United States
Marital Status: Married
Swinger Type: Sex with others (just me)
Height: 5 ft 9 in
Body Type: A little extra padding
Smoking: non-smoker
Drugs: No Drugs
Education: Some grad school
Occupation: Engineer
Race: Caucasian
Religion: Spiritual
Have Children: Yes - but not at home
Want Children: Happy with what they have
Male Endowment: Average / Average (prefer not to use it)
Circumcised: Yes
Speaks: English
Hair Color: Grey
Hair Length: Short
Glasses or Contacts: Glasses
Eye Color: Blue
Astrology: Aquarius
Personality Type:
The Idealistic Philosopher
Pushing Boundaries
Posted:Aug 21, 2018 5:15 pm
Last Updated:Nov 3, 2018 9:38 am

How far would you go?

I know that it is the nature of a Domme or Dom to push a subs boundaries. Part of the thrill of being a sub is knowing that your Mistress / Master will take you unexpected places and "make" you do things you didn't think yourself capable of, but how do you know when enough is enough?

My Mistress took me from what I thought was a dominant, straight man to her fully feminized sissy slut that would take cock on demand. It is certainly much further than I thought I would ever go, but now that we are no longer in the same location, I crave her dominance, the forced feminization, all the cock, and all the cum.

I loved the discipline, and even most of the punishments, but here is the point of my post. Most of the time when I was to receive a punishment, it would be administered with me bound to a sawhorse. Mistress said that limits and safewords did not apply during punishment. It was not meant to be enjoyable, and the only limit was that she would not actually damage me. If I had made her particularly angry, she would threaten to let her dog fuck me. It was a large male great dane, and he seemed eager administer the punishment. She would bring him in, walk him around me, and even put his front paws on my back. She never went through with it, but seemed delighted at the way I would shudder. Each time I was afraid that this would be the time she really did it.

We often had conversations afterward where I would tell her that it was a hard limit for me. She would agree, but then tell me that I did not know where my hard limits really were yet. Shortly before we stopped seeing each other (geographic change, not a falling out), she decided that my punishment was to be administered unbound. She was really going to let the dog have me, and I was going to submit to it. To my own surprise, I got on all fours as instructed, and awaited my punishment. She left me there trembling for several minutes before whispering in my ear, "I own you, and don't ever forget that! Punishment is over. Now come give Mama a hug"

What I wonder now is, if we had stayed together, would she have eventually made good on the threat? Would I have just let it happen? Would it have eventually become a regular occurance that I just accepted as the new normal?

I'm thankful that it didn't come to that, but I often wonder, "What if?"
Lust boat
Posted:Aug 13, 2018 5:15 pm
Last Updated:Aug 14, 2018 5:50 pm

Score one for this site
I got nailed on a cruise

I just got back from a vacation. Nice cruise for a week. While on the boat I decided a nice massage was in order. It was lovely. Everything as expected, but while I was showering I hear a voice say, "Are you Subfantasy67?" I say "Yes, sir." He asked if everything in my profile is true, and I tell him yes. He tells me to turn and face the wall. I comply. He opens the door, soaps up my ass, starts fingering and stretching until he has three fingers inside. He whispers that I'll do fine, then closes the door and disappears.

I was left wondering what just happened. It was exciting, and I was ready for action, then poof. Nothing! I got dressed, and walked back to my room. When I got back, there was an invitation for a complementary private sauna the next night. My mystery visitor was obviously making plans, and I could hardly wait.

Next night I was prepped and ready for action. I went to the spa. Showed my invitation. I was directed to the appropriate room, and told my part was already waiting. When I opened the door, there were four men inside. I said that I must have the wrong room, but one of the men said, "No. It's the right room, Bitch! Bend over." I obviously complied, and after he gave his friends an "I told you so", he promptly shoved is whole cock in me, and started pounding mercilessly. Thankfully he was already lubed for the job, because there was no foreplay at all.

All four took their turns, and a couple twice. No oral. No talking. Just raw fucking until they were done. Raw, primal, and awesome.
Posted:Jul 29, 2018 11:04 am
Last Updated:Jul 31, 2018 4:00 pm

Has anyone on this site ever seen a testimonial?
Have you ever left one?

I'm looking at member profiles, and I keep seeing a spot for testimonials, but I have never seen one. That got me thinking, what would go there?

Nice ass. Great pussy. Always shows up when called.

Does anyone take that item seriously?

Would love to hear your thoughts, especially if you have received or given a testimonial.
Let us Prey
Posted:Jul 28, 2018 4:22 am
Last Updated:Sep 21, 2018 6:10 am

Am I really Prey?

So, l 'met a guy here that is a self proclaimed predator. He is convinced that I M prey. I said that I had never really engaged in that sort of play before. He says that I do, but just don't realize it.
Simple test, he says: If I were taking a shower at the gym, and a man came into the shower, pushed me against the wall, shoved a finger in my ass, and told me to hold still so he could fuck me. Would I resist. I told him it sounds hot. "That makes you prey!

What do you think. Any other predators or prey here?

He says to expect a visit at the gym, and I'm thinking I need to work out more.
That fantasy just won't work!
Posted:Jul 15, 2018 1:04 pm
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2018 5:58 pm

I have this recurring fantasy that is so hot for me, but there just isn't any real way to carry it out. Anyone else have that?

The fantasy: Starts with a basic kidnapping. Hooded. Tossed in a van. Taken somewhere deep in the woods, stripped naked, and tied up. Then I am just fucked by one guy after another. Maybe as many as 20 guys. All bareback. All cumming inside me until it is literally just running down my legs. No talking except how much this bitch likes it and deserves it. No explanations. Just raw sex and cum. Then I get dropped back off naked somewhere public.

The reality: Obviously too dangerous in real life. Real kidnapping is scary business, and not likely to end so well. Probably end up with an STD. And, of course, the police are going to find you naked, so there will be all those questions.

I suppose some things just remain fantasy.

Comments please. Tell me yours.
1 comment
Pavlov's Pet Penis
Posted:Jul 14, 2018 9:32 am
Last Updated:Jul 31, 2018 9:49 pm
Pavlov's pet penis
or How to make a soft sissy

Nearly everyone is familiar with the concept of classical conditioning. Right? Pavlov rings a bell every time he feeds his dog. Now the dog starts to drool every time he hears a bell. Basically, he just mind fucked his dog.
Now. You're thinking this only works on simple minded creatures. Right? .... Wrong. It works with humans too, and it totally doesn't matter if they know they are being mind fucked or not. It happens on a subconscious level, and you can't control it. I know the psychology behind it, and it still worked on me.

So here, purely for your amusement, are some of the lovely mind fucks my mistress used on me. (Don't get me wrong. She told me she was doing it, and I let her. Of course, I didn't really think any of this would work on me.)

"Big, Hard clits aren't very feminine."
It was one of Mistress' favorite sayings. Her ideal sub was one that she could fuck with a strapon until I came, but keep my cock soft at all times. The simple solution? ICE! Every time my dick got hard she would put ice on it. When it was soft, she would do something pleasurable for me. Hard: pleasure stops. Ice on cock until it was soft, and then the pleasure resumed. Every time she used the ice she would say that same phrase over and over in a sad, wistful tone. After the first year, the ice wasn't needed any more. I could hear those words, and my clit responded with no thought from me whatsoever. That was years ago, and I don't get to see mistress any more, but my clit still goes soft as soon as I go into my sub space. It still works, and I can use it for straight sex, but when I am being a sissy, it behaves as taught.

You know you are going to be my sissy bitch, Right?
She said it, and I'd laugh... at first. After all. I was straight. right?!
I mean, I was having an affair with a sexy woman, and her husband knew about it. Sure she was kinky. Sure she liked to play with my ass, but I was completely in charge of the situation. But.... come to think of it.... she never did actually let me fuck her. And then came the bet. The ridiculous, I can't lose, I'm going to own this chic bet.
"You do what I say for six months. If you don't BEG me to let my husband fuck you, then you can fuck me any time you want. Any time. Anywhere. No questions asked. FOREVER."

There were strict limits, of course, but she could fuck me with a strapon. I was letting her do that sometimes anyway. She could dress me however she wanted (OK. I didn't really see that one coming, but think of the prize) You get the idea. Now, I'm not saying that conditioning changes the nature of who you are, but it can make your body play tricks on what your mind thinks it wants to do.

For example: She continued to suck my dick, play with my cock, all the things that make me cum, but every time I came, she always made sure there was something in my ass. Eventually she would stop everything at the last minute except for the ass play right as I was about to cum. She was making sure that my brain always assosiated the pleasure of cumming with being fucked in the ass. Eventually, and even now, I feel sexual arousal as a sensation deep in my ass much more than in my cock.
The next mind fuck was visual. She started showing me images of hard, black cocks every time I came. At first I was amused. Then a bit disgusted, but I realized that my disgust was aimed inward, because I was becoming aroused by the sight of black cocks. At some point she replaced the pictures of cocks with her husband's real cock. I protested at first, but she reminded me that the limit was set at touching. Men couldn't touch or fuck me, but I didn't say that they couldn't stroke their cocks in front of my face when I was cumming. I was becoming imprinted on her husband's cock like a baby chick on its mother' and I was becoming aroused by it.

Now enter the submission and the sissfication. Mistress started to do everything for me. She administered enamas to "make my pussy nice." She bathed me. Dried me. Did make up and hair. Dressed me in sexy women's clothes. Started to call me by a girls name' and started using words like clit and pussy for my body parts. I was now a girl any time I was in her house, even just hanging out or having dinner' and there was always a butt plug in my ass unless I was actually being fucked. Her husband always talked sexy to me, and told me how much he was going to enjoy fucking me. Back to the visual. Now she fucked me in front of the mirror so I could see how pretty I looked, and her husband's cock was always there. He even started to jack off and cum whenever I did. Not on me, but always in front of my face.

Now almost 6 months into our bet. Believe it or not, I'm still thinking I will win this bet. Even though my dick now gets soft as soon as I am in her presence. I'm now really into strapon sex, and now I am having orgasms like I never did from my dick. The endless stream od sissification videos and black cocks isn't really affecting me. My mind is stronger than that.... but... I get so aroused by them. I mean, what could it hurt if I let a man fuck me. It wasn't much different than she was doing... and she keeps saying that the real thing is even better.

But I am determined to win. After all, I can do what I want after I win, right. So one day she is fucking me as I am all dolled up, and she is really doing good. I am about to explode, and she suddenly stops cold. She says that we need to talk. Oh, Please, Please! Finish first. "No" she says. "If you want to finish, my husband will have to do it." "In fact. You will never have anal sex in this house again unless he does." I will declare you the winner of this bet right now, and you can fuck me starting right now, but it will be the end of everything else we have been doing" "Otherwise, my husband gets to fuck you right now, you agree to be my slave, and we continue on our happy journey"

My mind is reeling. I can't even process this sudden change, but I know I don't want to lose this, so I agree.

"OK. Get on your knees. Kiss his cock, and BEG

Please comment if you enjoy, and check out the rest of my blog. I really want to know if I should continue.

Thanks for cumming
1 comment
Manly Bottoms or Sissy Sluts
Posted:Jul 13, 2018 4:07 pm
Last Updated:Aug 14, 2018 9:46 pm

What sort of bottoms do tops like. Just your personal preference.

Please comment with details. It is a huge turn on.
Masculine only. Man on Man
Passable Sissy bottoms
Non-passable sissy bottoms
Dressed Sissies. Don't care if passable or not
I want to dress you like I want and strip away your manhood
Shut up and bend over. AKA I don't care
Women only. I'm straight. Really I am.
1 comment , 23 votes
But.... I don't want to be a girl.
Posted:Jul 12, 2018 9:21 am
Last Updated:Nov 4, 2018 6:30 am
But.... I don't want to be a girl.

I adore forced feminization!
.. but I'm not trans or CD

As it turns out, fetishes do not fit in neat little boxes with labels. They are as varied as the people that have them, they evolve over time, and not everyone wants to explore all of their fetishes all the time. My favorite ice cream is vanilla, but I also like chocolate. I love black cocks, but also every other color. My mistress was absolutely dominant, but also liked to sometimes be mindlessly rough fucked.

My favorite fetish is forced feminization, and people often mistake that to mean that I am Trans or CD, but they are not the same thing at all. Trans identifies as a different gender. CD may identify as male, but enjoys dressing as female, and not always for sex. Forced Fems lile to be "FORCED" to dress and act feminine. It is an expression of domination and submission with an element of humiliation involved. Now don't get me wrong, the thought of a strong man flipping up my skirt and fucking me silly makes me all weak in the knees, but I identify as classical male in normal life.

I don't want to be a girl. I don't want to dress like a girl. I don't want to act like a girl. Outside of certain sexual role play, I enjoy being a man. Hell, I'm even considered to be an Alpha at work. But I love the exchange of power to a Dom or Domme. I love having my manhood stripped away, being made to walk like a girl, talk like a girl, look like a girl, and act like a girl. (I always like being fucked like a gurl, no matter how I am dressed.) I also like collar and leash, chastity device, and frilly frocks with locking collars I can't remove. I like being strapped to a sawhorse and fucked. I like being "loaned" to anonymous men. I love having men cum on my face, in my mouth, and even in my ass. Not because I luv cum, but because it establishes complete dominance over me. Some people need to be denigrated in other ways, but forced fem is what makes my clitty hard!

Other forced fems may have completly different versions of this fetish, and different motivations. Please ask before you act. Your mileage may vary. TT&L not included. Close cover before striking. Do no operate heavy machinery in a gimp suit, and please make sure your subs stay hydrated.
Schizophrenia: It's fun for both of us
Posted:Jul 11, 2018 1:40 am
Last Updated:Jul 14, 2018 11:08 am

Roses are red
And they smell pretty too
I'm schizophrenic
And so am I

Thus goes the twisted childhood rhyme meant to imply that one had multiple personalities. (Dissociative Identity Disorder as it is known these days) No disrespect is meant toward anyone who actually suffers from a mental disorder, but I think it is fitting for a select group of us here.

My blog isn't called Confessions of a part time sissy for nothing. I lead two very different lives. Both of them are real. Both of them are truly who I am, and I wouldn't want to change anything about either.

On the one hand: I am an utterly submissive cock and cum slut. This me would love to be gang banged by a basketball team, fucked by random men as they please, even whored out to friends. Don't get me wrong Ladies. I love to serve you too, but as a sissy, not as a man. This me is not CD or trans, but revels in 'forced feminization', loves the submission, the verbal degradation, and loves having my ass be the center of attention.

On the other hand: I am a moderate, masculine, "straight", married man. I enjoy sports, hunting, fishing, and more cerebral pursuits as well. I am a loving husband, respected father, and a corporate level manager. This me is dominant without being domineering, but unquestioned "master" of my domain.

"Aha!", you say. "We've got you". This is the same lie that every closeted LGBT person tells themselves before they get the courage to come forward and be themselves. Right?

But this is where it all falls apart. You see, I love BOTH my lives. And BOTH my selves. The yin and yang are balance and harmony for me. I lived with only one side for most of my life before being shown the missing half, but that side isn't the whole me either.

I suppose the moral of the story is to learn to love yourself, even if you are more than one person...

And, hopefully, everyone can realize that accepting people for who they are often means more than one thing. People are complex individuals, and none of us fit in neat little boxes.

Please leave comments (good or bad), so I can tell what you think of my blog. I've never done this before.
Like A Virgin (Topped for the very first time)
Posted:Jul 10, 2018 2:07 pm
Last Updated:Jul 15, 2018 7:20 am
Like A Virgin (Topped for the very first time)

Seduction is such a powerful thing! Not because it can make you do things you don't want to do, but because it can make you do things that you didn't want to admit you wanted to do. This aptly describes my journey from a straight, masculine, slightly homophobic, slightly racist, TOP, Alpha male to a confirmed bottom, submissive, sissy bitch with a black Mistress and Master.

This is a long story, so the details will feed other posts. For now we'll stick to the highlights, starting with Mistress Patricia's entry into my staid existence. Patricia and her husband Jim were nightbors for , and are still friends of my wife and I after we moved away. I still get to see them, because I travel there for work, and on one occasion they invite to a party at their house. After a few drinks, Patricia confides that she knows my wife's recent health issues have made sex less than pleasurable for her, and we have basically stopped trying. The subject ebarrasses , but not as much as when she offers to give a blow job. "Just for stress relief, you know?" I attempt to laugh it off by saying that her husband might not appreciate that. To my surprise, she takes by the hand, walks directily to her husband, and announces that she is going to go fuck this "little white guy". Imagine my surprise when he winks at and says "have fun". As she leads away, he starts laughing and singing a line from White Rabbit. "and if you go chasing rabbits... and you know you're going to fall..." By now, I stunned, numb, and confused. I follow thoughtlessly as she leads to her bedroom.

Now I want to take a moment to talk about predjudice. I was raised in mostly white areas, went to mostly white schools, and had mostly white friends. Despite that, I never really considered myself to be even slightly racist. I find the idea of racism to be a rediculous byproduct of ignorant, uneducated, poorly traveled people. I well educated, well traveled, open minded, and Jim and Patricia are our close friends. (Yes. it is a cliché. They were our only real black friends) Despite my supposedly enlightened state, I realized that I had never considered sex with a black woman. I found some black women to be sexy, but they were mostly light skinned women whith straight hair. More like white women with a dark tan. Patricia was not that. She had short, curly hair, and he is very dark. As she closed the door, and undressed playfully in front of me, I realized that I had never REALLY looked at her before. She was beautiful. Her face and eyes were lovely. long neck. Lithe, muscular body with sexy curves in all the right places. Large, firm breasts with nipples that were begging to be sucked. This gorgeous woman was about to suck my dick, and all I could think about was the fact that I couldn't recognize my own prejudices. (OK. Maybe that is a subject for another time)

Back to the point at hand. She did suck my dick, and she was very good at it. This woman enjoyed sex! Touching. Groping. licking. Sucking - not just my dick, but my balls, my body..., and my nipples! that had never happened to me before. It made me uncomfortable, but it felt good, so I didn't resist. She kept me hard, but didn't let me cum, then she let me have a turn. I put my mouth, tongue, and hands to use over her whole body. I didn't stop short, though. I brought her to climax twice with my tongue, and decided to go for the third with my cock, but she stopped me saying that I had to earn that. I didn't mind because she went back to work with her mouth. The thing is that this time she kept trying to slip her finger in my ass. When I resisted, she said that I was too uptight, and I needed to learn to relax and enjoy my own body during sex.

After some serious convincing, I let her tie me up so that she could teach me to "let go of my inhibitions". I was scared and thrilled. not sure what I thought was going to happen, but I was certainly not prepared for what did. She continued to suck, lick, and with my cock. Only now she had a lubricated finger stuck just in my ass, and I was clamped down on it like a vise. She patiently waited for to relax, and kept slowly pushing in until she found my prostate. That was a familiar sensation from sports and military exams, but I realized that they were uncomfortable because they actually made feel good. She started to slowly fuck with her finger with her mouth just resting on my cock. I was enjoying it so much that I barely noticed the second finger until she started stretching, and then she stopped. I watched in shock as she pulled a small strapon out of the night stand. It was thin and barely five inches long, but I knew where she was headed, and it looked huge to . That was too far, and I said no. She finished strapping it on, but just came and sat on the bed beside me. She assured me that nothing was ever going to happen that I didn't want, and if I wanted she would just untie me now. But.... If I was willing to let go of my outdated inhibitions and trust her she would make me feel wonderful. "It did feel good when I was finger fucking you, right?" "it is no different. Momma just wants to make you feel wonderful." "I promise, you will have the most amazing orgasm, Ever!" "You just have to trust me"

Needless to say, I let her fuck me. She was jacking me off at first, but she made sure that when I came it was from nothing other than the strap on in my ass. Every journey starts with a single step. I've been a lot of miles since then, but that was my first step.

Hopefully some of you will enjoy my new blog, and I'll tell you more about the journey, and perhaps some other fun things.

1 comment

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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
My Public Profile (Not just for Goldmembers) (5)HomerSimpson271
Aug 13, 2018 8:26 pm
Lust boat (3)Walking62
Aug 13, 2018 6:16 pm
Testimonials? (18)pocogato12
Jul 29, 2018 6:44 pm
Let us Prey (3)throatscock
Jul 28, 2018 5:33 am
But.... I don't want to be a girl. (3)benard69
Jul 12, 2018 10:08 am
Schizophrenia: It's fun for both of us (3)TooLittle2late4u
Jul 11, 2018 2:56 am